My Big Kid, seen here at his wedding this last fall, has been a riot of a child to raise. The Kept Woman has a post up about Janes (Mom's that are perfect in every way, superwomen..go read it, she IS a funny gal). So as I typed in her comments, I thought...I'd share the story here too. Some of you have heard this story before, we STILL laugh about it today around here. ...so here is my comment about Janes at TKW's blog....
My sister is a Jane and she’s damn proud of it and NEVER LETS A CHANCE GET BY WITHOUT REMINDING ME…she’s a Jane and I’m just a Luzer Mutha.
Big Kid was about 14-15. Prime hormonal time in men’s world. He was flapping his wings, airing them out, drying them off, learning to fly with his big mouth one day as I was cooking. But..never forget, Momma, always wins.
SO..I’m frying eggs on the griddle and he’s mouthing off at me and would NOT FUCKING STOP. So I picked up my spatula and reached across the griddle and pressed it into his chest making my point and trying to get him to just shut the hell up.
He screamed.
I laughed, called him a girl and continued to stab him with the spatula and return Momma Fire.
Then he REALLY screamed and it was at this point, I realized, that spatuala? It was laying ON the griddle, not NEXT to the griddle. He had about five good, hot spatula brands across his chest.
Oops.
LOL….my sister “Jane” still thinks she needs to call CPS on me when we laugh and retell this story. I’ve tried dialing the number and giving her the phone….
22 comments:
It wasn't eggs..it was pancakes. LOL, like that matters.
Milkmaid!!!
You mean I could have been visiting you all week?
DAMN! I'm non-plussed..
You have some great quality pics on here sweetie...Thanks...Galen
Hi G, glad you surfed over.
Hi Milkmaid, are you kiddin? You'll be sick of my ass soon enough!!
He finally shut up right? LOL
I got a hot wooden spoon once.
Ooppss..well, we can't all be perfect, right? ;-)
I hope you threw an extra fiver on the plate for each scorch mark.
I doubt that G!!
Manny, yes, he did shut it and get away from me. LOL, poor kid.
Jenn....my dogs are perfect, does that count? :D Thanks for the visit!
Jane Jane Jane, oh how I miss thee!
I'm just glad that we are secure enough to admit these non-Jane moments. Hilarious though!
What does he say about that these days?
Yikes, I am behaving, honest!
Hopefully he learned his lesson.
It's like branding your child so no one takes him as their own. Cheaper than DNA testing!
I'm so damn glad you got your own blog again! Yippee!
THAT is funny!
I knocked daughter #1 over once and the bowl she had in her hand fell to the floor. Her ass hit the bowl and it left a bowl print.
I thought I was going to have to go to Kitchen Utensils Anonymous. Now I see you can go with me :)
Yeah, when you dial the number it's mot supposed to be 182IMKIDDING :P
Poor child *shakes his head*. Mums are supposed to protect their kids not try to burn them slowly alive with cooking utensils!!
Kid branding. Hadn't thought of it. What a great idea!
Yeegads! We could get rich offa this. You could make designer brands for parents to use on their kids. They'd sell like hotcakes during the holiday season after the kiddos have been outa school for a week or so.
Yay!!! Your back! I love the new.....YOU!
Don't most kids have something on the order of "blackmail" that they use against their parent in a weak moment, at one time or other? Like when my menopausal Mom thru the 32 oz. full can of peaches at me, during one of those 14-15 y.o. bitch sessions....skeert the whole household so severly, even the dog wouldn't touch the peach juice that was all over the floor and walls
Angie, he laughs about it today. In five weeks, his payback will officially begin when his baby girl is born. And lemme tell you, I canNOT wait to say it either...paybacks!
Bar, he did. We've actually been pretty lucky with him. Now, he'll smart off to his Dad without a second thought, but both the boys are pretty good with me, cuz I HATE THAT SHIT. :)
Tina, no, never. He retells it more than I do.
Shell! Glad you stopped by. And what a brilliant idea. I see Crabby is already busy stealing it.
Lori..why do you still have a snowman avatar?? Where's your flowers at girl?
Sign, I am in SUCH good company! LMAO Utensils Anonymous
Gareth...mum? Isn't that a flower? ;) Hee hee....I protected him, right after I stopped laughing my ass off at him. LOL
Crabby, you are a brilliant Pimp. What would I do without you?
Yeah Lurker girl, we gotta come up with a shorter name for you LOL. And...THAT is funny, all the peach juice and the dogs just hide LMAO! Glad you surfed over....do come back. xxoo
You know I know where you are coming from with this.
I'm the mom who backhanded my 10 yr kid across the face purley out of instant reaction when he horked across the kitchen table into his younger sisters face. Absolutely no thought or remorse involved on my part what~so~ever. I don't even think he would spit on the sidewalk to this very day.
helen
I'm so glad you're back with your own blog!
Hi MilkMaid..
Chocolate Milk Maid?
Why I'm just pleased as pie that your back at being the witty lil ol' redhead we all have known ya to be!!! All is better with the world again!
And, yes, I do need a new conifer.....errr that would mean I was a cone....Ummm, I think I meant moniker, yes, yes....that sounds much better.
What happened to our beautiful blue skies from yesterday???
I can see it now....all the kids branded with the mark of the circle spatula ranch.
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